| hear whispers behind me even when no one is there voice speak clearly to me and i hear the voices but not with my ears My dreams are getting stranger sometimes they are not even dreams just fuzzy opening of 70's era british sitcoms about a family with a punk rock son and a nerdy daughter in the the song they take turns singing about what the eat for dinner "tongue for dinner and there is prom with the wreaths around it" in drunken english voices they are getting stranger maybe they are not even dreams just memories My hands will not stop shaking i have to tell them to calm down they listen sometimes but they usually just talk back i want to swallow everything i look at things i have always hated and i want to swallow these things onions bad tie knots jalepenos people who cut up all their food before they eat it michelle barbeque i want to eat all these things i want to hide them inside i want to save the world from these things self sacrifice I forget how to do certain things i am supposed to know how to do write my name launder popcorn shower speak so i try not to do anything all i do it sleep i sleep all day because i know how to sleep i sleep all night My heart beats very rapidly all the time i am missing deadlines and running late Things always slide out of my bellybutton and hit me on the nose And i have started carrying my passport everywhere with me in case someone yells at me in case i have to go in case i actually do move to paraguay like i have been considering and becoing and assasin People ask if i am going to see a movie that comes out on december thirteenth but i tell them that i do not know because i might be dead by then i don't know that i will be dead for sure no one does but it is fun to see the looks on their faces when they hear me say it but they usually do not hear me say it I start wearing a cape a royal blue and dark black cape and developing a lisp people just think that i am into computer games and star trek it is a wonderful disguise And i only listen to folk music and liszt now and i scratch my legs and my stomach and lick and like my blood whenever i do that so i only get to listen to music about once a week Miraculously they still let me drive even though i do not do that very well anymore because my eyes are sticky so it makes me not see the children in the road at all If i were a famous actress like i am going to be i would wear only royal blue or dark black I do not drink but i want to because it makes me very sick I am going to perform a jazz number in my driveway and invite everyone to watch Dark things follow me i do not know what they are and i am rather afraid to know Is it possible to survive on a diet of raisinets and butter Will alan rickman marry me if i was beautiful i wonder if he would. |